Support

So sometimes in life, things are going to be bad. There's no other way to put that. That is simply just the truth. And I know that when things go bad, if you're like anyone I know, it's hard to let other people know. It's hard to tell them that you are weak, it's hard to lean on them. No matter what, you think you'll bother them. You think your problems aren't worth worrying about. You think their problems are worse than yours. You think that YOU aren't worth worrying about.

I know the feeling, that feeling rules my life. The feeling of wishing there was someone to call but not wanting to bother someone, not wanting to worry them. And bottom line, those feelings are incorrect. False. Wrong. Whatever word you want to use. I'm not saying that YOU are incorrect, false, wrong, or that what you're going through is false, wrong, incorrect, not worth worrying about. The feeling that you aren't worth worrying about, etc etc, is wrong.

Let me give you an example. For those who know me, they know that I have RSD. And honestly, it is SO hard for me to let people know about how I'm doing. I won't let them in- I won't let them see the pain- the excruciating pain- every second of every day. I soldier on. And I fall, sometimes. Because when I go to far, I pass out from the pain. My body just physically can't take it. I don't sleep, I don't eat, and I can't do anything I want to because of my leg. But more of the passing out. Sometimes I need support. Someone to catch me- literally- as I fall. Someone to make sure my head doesn't hit that sharp corner or the ground to hard. I need someone to help me. And so I've had a lot of time to think about that- someone literally catching me. And in that moment, they care. And in that moment, I feel even that much better.

So my point is that you are not invincible, you are not super man (even Curly Q.... those who know that she's convinced she is). You are not a bother. Because all those feelings, they get even that much better when you let someone CATCH you. Someone hold you up. Someone tell you to sit and then they stay with you til you're better. And that's what will happen.

All that I'm fine/I'll be okay nonsense is, in every aspect of the term, complete shit.

So maybe don't lie. And if you let them hold you, carry you, then take solace in the fact that you're going to be okay. You're going to get through it. And they may have to catch you 26 times in one day, but as long as you let them, they'll catch you.

Stay rad,
Riley