For my ridiculous texts.....
They're average.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Support
So sometimes in life, things are going to be bad. There's no other way to put that. That is simply just the truth. And I know that when things go bad, if you're like anyone I know, it's hard to let other people know. It's hard to tell them that you are weak, it's hard to lean on them. No matter what, you think you'll bother them. You think your problems aren't worth worrying about. You think their problems are worse than yours. You think that YOU aren't worth worrying about.
I know the feeling, that feeling rules my life. The feeling of wishing there was someone to call but not wanting to bother someone, not wanting to worry them. And bottom line, those feelings are incorrect. False. Wrong. Whatever word you want to use. I'm not saying that YOU are incorrect, false, wrong, or that what you're going through is false, wrong, incorrect, not worth worrying about. The feeling that you aren't worth worrying about, etc etc, is wrong.
Let me give you an example. For those who know me, they know that I have RSD. And honestly, it is SO hard for me to let people know about how I'm doing. I won't let them in- I won't let them see the pain- the excruciating pain- every second of every day. I soldier on. And I fall, sometimes. Because when I go to far, I pass out from the pain. My body just physically can't take it. I don't sleep, I don't eat, and I can't do anything I want to because of my leg. But more of the passing out. Sometimes I need support. Someone to catch me- literally- as I fall. Someone to make sure my head doesn't hit that sharp corner or the ground to hard. I need someone to help me. And so I've had a lot of time to think about that- someone literally catching me. And in that moment, they care. And in that moment, I feel even that much better.
So my point is that you are not invincible, you are not super man (even Curly Q.... those who know that she's convinced she is). You are not a bother. Because all those feelings, they get even that much better when you let someone CATCH you. Someone hold you up. Someone tell you to sit and then they stay with you til you're better. And that's what will happen.
All that I'm fine/I'll be okay nonsense is, in every aspect of the term, complete shit.
So maybe don't lie. And if you let them hold you, carry you, then take solace in the fact that you're going to be okay. You're going to get through it. And they may have to catch you 26 times in one day, but as long as you let them, they'll catch you.
Stay rad,
Riley
I know the feeling, that feeling rules my life. The feeling of wishing there was someone to call but not wanting to bother someone, not wanting to worry them. And bottom line, those feelings are incorrect. False. Wrong. Whatever word you want to use. I'm not saying that YOU are incorrect, false, wrong, or that what you're going through is false, wrong, incorrect, not worth worrying about. The feeling that you aren't worth worrying about, etc etc, is wrong.
Let me give you an example. For those who know me, they know that I have RSD. And honestly, it is SO hard for me to let people know about how I'm doing. I won't let them in- I won't let them see the pain- the excruciating pain- every second of every day. I soldier on. And I fall, sometimes. Because when I go to far, I pass out from the pain. My body just physically can't take it. I don't sleep, I don't eat, and I can't do anything I want to because of my leg. But more of the passing out. Sometimes I need support. Someone to catch me- literally- as I fall. Someone to make sure my head doesn't hit that sharp corner or the ground to hard. I need someone to help me. And so I've had a lot of time to think about that- someone literally catching me. And in that moment, they care. And in that moment, I feel even that much better.
So my point is that you are not invincible, you are not super man (even Curly Q.... those who know that she's convinced she is). You are not a bother. Because all those feelings, they get even that much better when you let someone CATCH you. Someone hold you up. Someone tell you to sit and then they stay with you til you're better. And that's what will happen.
All that I'm fine/I'll be okay nonsense is, in every aspect of the term, complete shit.
So maybe don't lie. And if you let them hold you, carry you, then take solace in the fact that you're going to be okay. You're going to get through it. And they may have to catch you 26 times in one day, but as long as you let them, they'll catch you.
Stay rad,
Riley
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Understanding
Never have I believed the saying "Never judge til you've walked a mile in his shoes" more than now.
Or better yet, don't give false compassion until you've tried living how someone lives.
You can advise, pity, attempt to help someone.
But never compare what you have to what they have.
Because that contest never works.
Just let them feel their pain.
Help them through.
But don't "comfort" them, pretend you "understand" by giving them a load of your problems too.
Because then, they're worse off.
And they like you less, too.
Stay Rad,
Riley
Or better yet, don't give false compassion until you've tried living how someone lives.
You can advise, pity, attempt to help someone.
But never compare what you have to what they have.
Because that contest never works.
Just let them feel their pain.
Help them through.
But don't "comfort" them, pretend you "understand" by giving them a load of your problems too.
Because then, they're worse off.
And they like you less, too.
Stay Rad,
Riley
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Loss
Is such a hard thing. It's such a broad topic as well. But I'm not going to talk about death or friendship or religion or hope. Loss of those things is too much to discuss. I'm going to talk about loss of the things you love- a favorite activity, a favorite place.
So, in life, there are obstacles that hold us back- be it physical or mental. But no matter what the obstacle is, it's not just the problem of the obstacle that is so terrible, but the loss of what you do.
Imagine being on the outside. Watching the one activity that you love- but not being able to participate. Watching, wishing, hoping, you're separated from that source of love, joy, pride, and happiness. You're separated from this- almost as if by a pane of glass. You can look, see, walk around, walk through, but never be part of it. Never feel that excitement, exasperation, exhaustion. You're merely a ghost- gliding through the world you once loved.
You can do as much as you can- maybe stay on the side. But it's like finding sustenance, but never being completely satisfied.
The bottom line is that it sucks- for lack of a better word.
I wish I could give a happy end, maybe how to get through it. But the only thing I can find to say is a very true quote from one man that I respect. "Keep your chin up, soldier."
It'll all be okay in the end. No matter the obstacle. It'll pass.
God puts these obstacles in our way to help us learn how to get through.
And the whole point of this to to grow.
So grow. Go and grow.
It'll be okay.
So maybe after all I have a happy ending for this. Being on the outside isn't all that bad. Because on the outside, you can find all the other things. And you can look in, feel pride for what you love. Because if you truly love it, it's not loss at all, it's just... change. Change you can feel, but change that is good.
P.S. check out the band Mumford and Sons. They have a couple of good songs like Awake My Soul or Winter Winds. They're very good.
(They've been on Letterman).
Love,
Riley
So, in life, there are obstacles that hold us back- be it physical or mental. But no matter what the obstacle is, it's not just the problem of the obstacle that is so terrible, but the loss of what you do.
Imagine being on the outside. Watching the one activity that you love- but not being able to participate. Watching, wishing, hoping, you're separated from that source of love, joy, pride, and happiness. You're separated from this- almost as if by a pane of glass. You can look, see, walk around, walk through, but never be part of it. Never feel that excitement, exasperation, exhaustion. You're merely a ghost- gliding through the world you once loved.
You can do as much as you can- maybe stay on the side. But it's like finding sustenance, but never being completely satisfied.
The bottom line is that it sucks- for lack of a better word.
I wish I could give a happy end, maybe how to get through it. But the only thing I can find to say is a very true quote from one man that I respect. "Keep your chin up, soldier."
It'll all be okay in the end. No matter the obstacle. It'll pass.
God puts these obstacles in our way to help us learn how to get through.
And the whole point of this to to grow.
So grow. Go and grow.
It'll be okay.
So maybe after all I have a happy ending for this. Being on the outside isn't all that bad. Because on the outside, you can find all the other things. And you can look in, feel pride for what you love. Because if you truly love it, it's not loss at all, it's just... change. Change you can feel, but change that is good.
P.S. check out the band Mumford and Sons. They have a couple of good songs like Awake My Soul or Winter Winds. They're very good.
(They've been on Letterman).
Love,
Riley
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