You know, it's funny. I feel like I don't know me either. You are right, something changed in me. Something snapped. Right around the time that the nerve disorder came back. Something changed in me. Something snapped. I like being a kid again. I play Pokemon and do dumb things. I act immature and laugh too much. Something changed in me. Something snapped. Some hatred of my stolen innocence made all the innocence in the world come back. Something changed in me. Something snapped. I'm changing my circle of friends so I can get myself back. I like swinging and laughing and acting really weird. I like not caring and not sharing and testing my limits. Something changed in me, something snapped. I messed up one too many times for Sophie to ever trust me back. And honestly, I feel bad. But only a little. I realize that I am human and that is my flaw.
Something changed in me, something snapped. Something in my mind will never go back.
So maybe I'm not as mature in your eyes, but in mine, I am much more. I've given up on growing up and decided to be a kid. I've decided to find that last bit of naive love, that last joy, that last hoby, that last favorite toy. Some may call me ignorant, but I am not as ignorant as I seem. I am pretty good at understanding everything. I just know that there's a point where it's better to be happy and know than sad and sure. I have found the point where I am healthy and I am whole. And maybe that means telling someone off. Maybe that means not being the boss. Maybe that means that I mess up too much.
But at least I know how to love myself enough.
